This is where my world ended. My entire life ended. Right here at the end of this dock. Sure, I might walk, talk and breath but anyone who looks me in the eyes will see the deadness there. The spark of life smothered and put out by grief. I expected that when I finally managed... Continue Reading →
What do you see in me?
They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. I wonder what people see when they look into my eyes. Do they see the demons that have plagued me for as long as I can remember? The torture I experience at every waking moment? Do they see the disease running rampant through... Continue Reading →
Sorry I left!
My world has been rocked and not in a sex way. My one and only mother has left me to follow her dreams 200 miles away. Many people in larger countries may not think that is a huge deal but for us Brits, that's a whole other planet. My childhood home has been cleaned, emptied... Continue Reading →
The Good Life Part Three: Find Your Calling.
In a world where unhappiness is forbidden by law, a young girl struggles to find a way to cope with her crippling depression and anxiety, fearing she is the only one in the world who feels this way… Read part two here first!!! Find your calling Joy managed to get through the tour of... Continue Reading →
The Good Life Part two: Find Yourself
In a world where unhappiness is forbidden by law, a young girl struggles to find a way to cope with her crippling depression and anxiety, fearing she is the only one in the world who feels this way… Read part one here first! Find Yourself Joy’s elder sister, Merry came over just has they were... Continue Reading →
I no longer have a care coordinator
At the start of this year, I had a meeting with my very absent care coordinator. I hadn't seen him in months and whenever I could grab a quick meeting with him, he never came through on a single thing he said he was going to do but my NHS trust is chronically over prescribed... Continue Reading →
The Good Life Part one: Find Happiness
In a world where unhappiness is forbidden by law, a young girl struggles to find a way to cope with her crippling depression and anxiety, fearing she is the only one in the world who feels this way... Prologue After the last great war, life in what was once, one of the most powerful countries... Continue Reading →
I’m so tired, I’m not sure I’m even making sense.
I often try to write poetic pieces about my mental health, I was going to try this week but I just do not have the energy. I don't like to use my blog as a sort of diary or to vent, though I have done so a few times recently. Today is one of those... Continue Reading →
A note to the past
Inspired by another post I saw, I decided to write a letter to my younger self. To a sweet 13 year old, You are hurting right now, hurting real bad, I know this because I am you, future you. Approaching 30 you. You may be thinking, wow 30, so old! Have I got life all... Continue Reading →
Do you ever wish you had cancer?
Probably not… This is a really terrible thing to think. We all know someone who has battled cancer and win or lose, it’s a long drawn out gory battle with your own body, where the ‘fix’ has worse side effects than the thing killing you in the first place. I know nearly everyone reading this... Continue Reading →