creative writing

I’ve lost part of my identity

It’s absurdly ridiculous.

Many won’t understand.

Nothing tragic has happened, no loved one has died, all my limbs are still firmly attached.

Nonetheless. I am missing part of who I was.

I quit smoking!

Smoking was/ is more than just an action.

It is/ was more than an addiction.

I was A SMOKER. 

smoke2

Not just someone who smoked- a smoker.

And now… I’m just… Not.

And yes, I am happy and proud of myself, the air never tasted so sweet and my bank balance has never been so healthy and fat.

But what I’ve gained in lung capacity, I feel like I’ve lost in personality.

There are lots of things we all do that become us. 

  • A writer.
  • A reader.
  • A mother/ father
  • A husband/ wife.

Our actions define us and something that should be as inconsequential as quitting smoking has forever changed my identity.

I’m still learning how to write without the cancer sticks.

Learning who I am outside the cloud of smoke. smoke3.jpg

Am I just being stupid? Has anyone else ever felt this way?

 

 

Featured photo by Alexandru-Bogdan Ghita on Unsplash

Photo one by Irina Iriser on Unsplash

Photo two by Jaroslav Devia on Unsplash

 

 

 

 

6 thoughts on “I’ve lost part of my identity

  1. I felt the same way when I quit, that I’d lost a part of what defined me. It passes, I promise. You are much more than a habit, it just takes a little time to get used to it. Good luck 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I smoke twenty cigarettes each day. I’ve been doing it for almost seven years now. I think sometimes, medication creates the itch to smoke. And depression certainly doesn’t help! Here’s hoping I can quit like you did. The first step to quitting an addiction is to hate it, I reckon

    Like

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