Mental health feelings

Reducing emotional vulnerability

One thing I have been desperately trying to do is reduce my emotional vulnerability.

Firstly, what is emotional vulnerability?

Everyone has a baseline for their emotions, somewhere between 1 and 10, let’s say you’re normally at a 2… When something mildly irritating happens like your partner forgetting to pick up something for dinner, you might go up to a 3 or 4. Something worse like your dog being hit by a car might send you up to a 6 or a 7. Something devastating happens you’re at a 9 or 10.

Non-emotionally vulnerable people can then cool down relatively quickly, they might only pop up to a 4 for 30 minutes before returning to their baseline of 2.

Is everyone with me so far?

Emotionally vulnerable people start their baseline at a much higher number and take a lot longer to cool down again.

Right now, I’m sure my baseline is already at a 6 or a 7.

For the past month, I have been feeling like my dog died last night.

Something usually mildly irritating, like my son having the T.V too loud while I’m trying to concentrate on my DBT homework is infuriating.

Something somewhat upsetting like my usually caring partner going out for a pint with the lads instead of coming home for the family dinner I’ve been cooking, is honestly devastating.

So, how does one reduce their emotional vulnerability?

DBT is FULL of acronyms.

To reduce emotional vulnerability, you use PLEASE skills and ABC.

I’ll go into more detail on what these mean in my next blog post, I’ll just give you the quick run down.


PL- treat any physical illness

E-balance eating.

A- avoid mood altering substances

S- balance sleep

E- exercise


A- accumulate positive emotions

B- build mastery

C- cope ahead


I feel like I am doing all of those as best as I can, I am using every skill I have been taught, I am trying and trying SO hard and nothing is working!

The most frustrating thing is maladaptive behaviours such as self harm and misusing prescription medication (I still have tons benzos left over) WOULD help.

I am working my arse off, to build a better life and develop healthy coping strategies and right now, I feel like it’s all for nothing.


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5 thoughts on “Reducing emotional vulnerability

  1. You and me both.

    I know most of mine is hormones, because just a touch of that last year made things so muh better. I laid off because of side effects but miss the benefits.

    I like that you’ve outlined this principle, and think that I also have a higher baseline happiness level than others. :/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is a great point which I haven’t actually included.
      I feel EVERYTHING much more intensely than my peers and that does include the lighter feelings.
      I still count down the days until christmas and my birthday, (a little in dread) mostly with the wonderlike excitement of a child.
      I adore small everyday comforts others take for granted, warm socks on a cold morning can leave me smiling all day.

      Liked by 1 person

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