Mental health feelings

A Reason to Live

When I’m feeling like I just cannot go on another day. When I’ve hit rock bottom and can’t find a single reason to carry on, a lot of very well meaning people bombard me with reasons to live.

These reasons are always; friends, family, my partner, my son.

How would they cope without me? How would they feel if I died?

Selfish bitch that I am, those reasons just aren’t good enough, they’re not reasons to live, they’re the reasons I want to die.

Friends, family, partner and child- all those lives would be infinitely better without me and no one could ever convince me otherwise.

But I need a reason. Especially right now, today, I need a reason to go on.

So I came up with 10!

I want to live long enough to…

  1. Finally find out who wins the Iron Throne.
  2. Maybe, possibly, someday, finish writing my fucking book.
  3. Learn a second language.
  4. Get a degree.
  5. Finally go on a proper holiday where you get to go on an aeroplane. Possibly to go… 
  6. See the northern lights.
  7. I really want to live long enough to see men on Mars.
  8. And whatever the next huge scientific breakthrough is.
  9. If I really set my imagination free, I want to live long enough to see an actual real dinosaur brought to life Jurassic park style. 
  10. The final reason to live, is to live long enough to keep adding to this list.

 

northern lights

 

What are your reasons to live?

12 thoughts on “A Reason to Live

  1. Great list! And, yeah, I get you on the ‘they’d be better off without me’ thing… up until I actually experience what they’re like when, say, I have a breakdown and go or whatnot.

    Keep adding to your list! Dig deep inside to what makes you feel that happy, fluttering, excited feeling. You know: raindrops on roses and crap like that. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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