Mental health feelings

How do you people stay so positive?

I read through so many amazing blogs, written by amazing people that have survived all different kinds of hell.

There is real darkness, real struggle, real pain, splashed out all over those pages.

Interwoven through all those shadows, there is light, hope, optimism.

be positive.jpg

How?

Even when I’m not writhing around in pain from another attack of the internal demons- I’m not okay.

When I’m alert and smiling and making it through the day- I’m not okay.

How do you tell people, it’s okay, you’ll get through this, you won’t always feel this way? When deep down you really don’t believe it.

Yes there are ups in life but there are always downs- downs so low, I’d rather be dead than face another second of living.

I can tell people that all sorts of things are survivable… But I can’t tell you it’s worth surviving.

How do you remain so positive that one day everything will be okay?

 

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

7 thoughts on “How do you people stay so positive?

  1. I feel this needs a very lengthy response. I’ll do my best.
    1. I often look around and wonder how people can even function. Some days, I am not sure how they smile. I have concluded that I am seeing (A) The people who get up and out and are therefore not crying in their bathroom with a bag of chocolate and (B) Am also seeing the people who did their hair, showered, have a job, etc.
    2. My husband and I see things differently. We respond to statements and questions differently. He is more positive and more productive; I am me. There are many people who are simply more like he is and others who are more like me (and you). Unfair, perhaps, but that’s how it is.
    In reference to your post; yes, there are people who simply are wired more positively.
    3. If you are constantly in the state of sadness and despair, you need to take medication and attend therapy. If that is currently the case, things need adjusting. I’m not a proponent for medicating, but have experienced the benefits in regards to myself and my son.
    4. Yes, cliche as it is, things will get better. All ‘those people’ who have gone through trials and such can look back and say things worked out because now they’re alive and not currently in said trial. Perhaps try talking to them DURING bad times, if you can, and see what they say. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The thing is… I am through the trial and am in the ‘good times’- recovery part of life and still just don’t see the point… I am medicated and in therapy, I am successfully doing my hair and making it out of bed most mornings, I experience love and happiness yet still feel like it’s all pointless. I guess I’m just waiting on the next trial to begin.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Talk with your therapist about this. I feel very similarly, but haven’t addressed that particular issue yet.

        Besides the overall sadness and self-assurance of more of the same old, pointless life, I’ve realized I don’t allow myself happiness. Keeping myself in a constant state of expecting disappointment and in numbing tiredness will guarantee (to my mind) that I won’t be disappointed when life DOES hand me let-downs.

        The only thing we’ve pursued for me besides working on a more-positive outlook is the idea that I need some things to look forward to, some life goals.

        Another activity that helped me (unassigned, just happened by chance) was uncovering my box of childhood artwork and such. Included were stories I’d written as a kid about what I wanted to be and what was important to me.
        It was a bit sad, also, but the sort of sad that made me want to do what that little me wanted to do with life. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. My therapist is encouraging me to pursue quality of life goals which I’ve said I’d do but am not because I can’t get over the pointlessness of existence itself.

        What did little you want to do with your life? I’d love to see how that is going.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Well… I was surprised to see that I’d said I wanted to be an artist, then a teacher. I also read so many notes from teachers or neighbors or elderly relatives about how good of a kid I was, etc. -made me realize I am a huge people-pleaser.

        You really can’t break out of feeling like life is hopeless without starting down the thinking more positively path. I’m supposed to be naming why I’m happy and tracing it to a core emotion at the moment; I feel better when I do it but also cheesy.

        It’s true that slowly, very slowly, my perspective is improving. When I get discouraged by THAT, I try to tell myself that it took at least 30 years to get here so I can’t expect to completely alter my thinking in a day.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. You sound like an adorable child. Sorry I have been MIA for a few days.

        The problem for me isn’t realising when I am happy but rather trying to realise why I should be. If life really is meaningless and pointless then it doesn’t matter if anyone is happy or sad, scared or angry- none of it matters because life doesn’t matter…

        My current repetitive intrusive thought is- Whether I die in 10 minutes or 10 years, I’m going to be just as dead either way, so what’s the point in trying?

        Like

      5. I’m sure I had my moments as a child. 🙂

        I agree with your mindset, and completely relate.

        I told my counselor something similar when we first talked about it, then felt like I ought to suggest that I didn’t even BEGIN with a positive mindset (like you said).

        I think she had me list what did make me happy and trace those to a core emotion, then I was supposed to do that every morning.

        There are a lot of CBT things online, for free, that you need to try. I know you don’t want to, because it’s pointless, but I know at least one person who will probably tear down London and burn it if you add the psychological struggle of your removal from his life to the mix… :/

        Like

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