Physical and mental exhaustion has lead me like a lamb to the slaughter back into the cold embrace of depression.
My mind has locked itself into the pit of despair.
It got bad guys!
I stopped taking my medication because I physically couldn’t drag myself out of bed long enough to go and pick up my prescription.
Such a spiral could have lead me much further down, into the darkest of days, without a glimmer of light, I may have started experiencing psychotic symptoms again.
Here is where the celebrating comes in.
I accepted I was unwell, unlike last time, I accepted that there are things I could do to halt this progress.
On Monday, I dragged myself out of bed, put on clean underwear and PJ’s and cooked my family a delicious dinner.
Such a small feat could easily be swept under the carpet, with thoughts of how I should be doing so much more. Thoughts of how much better my family’s lives would be if I wasn’t so sick.
Every time those thoughts crept through my dark mind, I celebrated my achievements.
You got out of bed today!!! Good job!!!
Even if you went from the bedroom to the sofa, you made it somewhere and that counts.
I know it’s really hard to focus right now so well done on being able to cook an entire meal!!
So what if on a good day you could have done better, today is not a good day and you did the best you could. All that matters is you tried, the fact you succeeded is a bonus!!
You had a wash and put on clean clothes before going back to bed, woohooo!!!
You’re super tired and feel sick from the lack of meds, you don’t see the point in changing your clothes if you’re only going back to bed but you put in the effort anyway, and don’t you feel just a teeny bit better?
Yes I did.
I cheered every small step I took until those small steps lead me back to my therapist and medication.
Celebrate the small things, depression is hard enough on you as it is, no need to add your own voice into the negative melting pot.
As part of me celebrating the small things, I am going to post an extra flash fiction piece this Friday to catch up on all the posts I have missed, hopefully scheduled programming will return next week.
Thank you all for sticking by me during these hard times.