Mental health feelings

They scream

There is screaming inside of me. It sounds like too many people crushed together in a small space, crammed against each other, pressing against the inside of my soul.

Elbowing each other, jostling for space. Screaming until their throats burn, each trying to be heard over the chaos inside but only the darkest thoughts come through.

The crowd gets rowdier, riled up, bouncing off each other’s dark energy, they push harder, scream louder.

A frenzied, animalistic wave of rage inside my head, scraping my insides raw.

I want to scream along with them, put all my anguish into a soul wrenching wail. I want to punch a wall over and over until my knuckles are bleeding and sweat is dripping off me.

But here I sit, patiently waiting for my caged demons to settle down and let me live.

screaming

2 thoughts on “They scream

  1. OHMYGOD. I love this. This is so well-written and an amazing depiction of what it’s like to have BPD. I have BPD and PTSD and yeah. I have a page called inside the mind of a puppet and it’s something I wrote similar to yours when i was in the worst place I had ever been with PTSD. Nobody understood and I wanted to explain a little bit but yeah! Maybe you can read it and compare/chat : )

    Like

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