Mental health feelings

Thank you for leaving

I want to write this to sincerely thank you for what you did to me. I know we both felt like shit at the time and it was really hard on both of us to go through but you did the right thing.

We both clearly had/ have deep emotional issues that the other was unprepared and unable to deal with. Could it ever have worked out any differently between us?

You were cold, emotionally distant and were never, ever going to be able to commit. Yet I chased and chased anyway, all for those few moments of bliss between us. It drove me to the edge and beyond but boy did that ignite the passion between us. I was crazy, your own personal stalker, an emotional wreck. The more you ran, the more I chased. I wanted everything, I wanted us, together, happy, a ring, a house, kids. I wanted a life with you.

You were trying to escape that, you’d attempted it before, it failed, it crushed you, it left you an emotional cripple. You should have known better than to get involved with someone like me, you should have never searched me out, found me, made me think that we could ever have been more than just friends that fuck. No matter how great that part was.

We were terrible for each other, the exact opposite of what we both needed but we tried anyway. Over and over again, against our better judgment we tried.

It was beautiful, touching.

It was electric, passionate.

It was depressing, soul destroying.

It very nearly killed me.

Sometimes I feel cheated. We never got to have one last final fling, we never got to go down in flames. I never got to scream at you, chuck things at you, rip your clothes off and fuck you as I told you I hated you.

You just slipped away, walked out of my life leaving behind a gaping wound, leaving me bleeding out, leaving me without a second thought. You left the cowards way.

Thank you, thank you so much for leaving when you did, thank you for not stringing me along anymore, thank you for ending it before it really did end me. And most importantly thank you, for being everything I don’t want in a partner because of you, I found a partner who is everything I do want and more.

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