The first rays of dawn on the horizon cut their way through the trees and melt away the darkness in this eerie forest I have been scuffling around the whole night. My side and lungs are no longer burning but every cell in my body is exhausted, I’m not sure how much longer I can go on. I stumble on a tree root and fall hard on my hands and knees, my scrubs have long since been ripped through and my already grazed knees slam hard into some thorny brush, my bleeding hands land on the rough bark of another tree root and pain shoots up my arms. ‘’Argh” I cry in pain and fury, angry, tired tears leaving furrows in my mud caked face. I give up, seriously I was so fucking stupid to think I could do this! I lay down on my side, the lumpy uneven ground digging into sore, overused muscles. I blink away tears and gaze sullenly around me, in the early morning gloom, the twisted trees look menacing and the imposing underbrush is claustrophobic. I feel myself slide further under the blanket of fear I’ve been under for so long. I know I should get up and move, carry on and well at least try but this hopelessness has me trapped as effectively as any cell I have ever been locked in.