Mental health feelings

Suicide

Is suicide selfish? I don’t know. I’m in pain, extreme, life limiting pain and I want it to end, how can that be selfish? I’ve tried to get better, tried all the treatments, and yet it’s still there, the never ending anguish that makes me want to go to sleep and never wake up. I don’t want to die, that’s the funny thing about suicide, I want to live! I want to see what my future holds, what happens to my family even what technological breakthroughs that will happen during my lifetime if I carried on living but this pain is a heavy weight around my neck, dragging me down to oblivion and that’s all I can think about. Not death, not someone finding my body and planning my funeral, not my family crying over my empty seat at the dinner table. I think of the oblivion of the nothingness, no more pain, no more tears, no more struggling to get through everyday.

And that to me is bliss.

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