As you know I am really mentally unwell, I have struggled with this since I was really young and I just haven’t been able to overcome it. Today the thoughts and feelings have just got too much and I don’t see another way out. Blame the stupid doctors, they know how unwell I am and yet they do nothing to help. Everything is such an uphill battle and I just don’t have the energy to fight anymore.
I love you mummy more than I will ever be able to put into words and I am so very grateful for everything you have ever done for me. I am really sorry to have to leave you like this, you’ve lost so many people already but you are the strongest person I have ever met and I know you will make it through this. You have to, for my brother and sister and most importantly my son.
Remember to tell him how much I loved him every single day and I will always be with him, watching over him every single day of his life. I will hold him through the bad times and celebrate through the good times with him but I need to do it from a place where I won’t be in this constant pain.
Tell my brother that he is amazing and I feel privileged to have watched him grow into the strong, loving and kind man he is and I am so proud of him.
To my sister I hope our psychic connection doesn’t bring you the pain I am in right now. Don’t let my selfish actions affect you too much, go on and achieve everything you have ever dreamed of, I know you can do anything.
Please say sorry to my boyfriend, he has done so much for me and he deserves so much more, I am sorry I couldn’t get better and be the person he needs me to be. I know he’ll find happiness in the future, forget about me and move on.
I love you all so much.