Mental health feelings

Shame

The voice of The Darkness is smooth and alluring, everything is said with such confidence. It must be true. “you’re useless” he mummurs, nodding along I agree. “you’ve put on weight again” I agree “you don’t deserve to eat today” My stomach clenches and I know he is right, I won’t be able to eat now. I look at my large frame in the mirror, it disgusts me, tears burn in the corner of my eyes. I look away but the image still lingers, The Darkness taunts me with it, tortures me. “Do you know what everyone is thinking about you?” A thousand humiliating images flash through my mind, each more agonising than the last. My face burns in shame and the tears start flowing freely. “you know it’s all your fault” I know, I know, I’m stupid and pathetic but what can I do? I think back to The Darkness. All my thoughts are spinning too fast for me to focus. The crooning voice of The Darkness is the only thought I am able to grab hold of “you know what you have to do”. I hang my head in shame, as resignation flows through me. I wipe my eyes and pick up my razor blade. This is the way it has to be.

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